I usually do well with being patient with things and I’m very much that annoying person always saying to someone who’s worked up, “Just relax, you have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.” “Whatever happens is meant to be.” “Have faith that things will turn around.”  …yeah, yeah…right now?  Nope.  I am Debbie Fucking Downer and I’ll be damned if you’re going to tell me to relax or hope for the best or have faith or whatever happens is mean to be… I get it, I REALLY DO.  I get that you have to be positive and hopeful… but right now?  I cannnnnnnn’t.  *stomps feet and crosses arms with frown face* 

So, if you’ve read any of my posts from late last week and Monday of this week (ohmahgah! twice in one week!) you’ll notice that changes are afoot.  We won’t go into the fact that I’m currently homeless and have half of my shit in a storage shed that I’m paying $60 a month for – that’s expensive, ugh – really it’s not, but it’s $60 that I don’t want to continue spending per month when I could be spending it on a mortgage or a place of my ownnnnnnn.

So after my! excited! post! about! my! potentially! new! to me! house! on Monday… I received a comment from GeekByMarriage…

…and so I kind of gasped because I have had this fear all along – especially considering all the reviews out there and the nightmares of short sales… but you know I’ve tried to push it aside and do the whole, “ohhh it can’t be thaaaaaaaaaat bad” thing… but for that reason all itself I’ve remained cautiously optimistic, yes, extremely excited but I’m trying my damndest to not get my hopes up.  So I replied…

…you know because, HAI!…

…TAX CREDIT… we’re using it as our down payment sooooo… you know, kiiiiiiiiinda need the banks approval on that sale price before the 30th of April.  I’ve heard horror stories of Bank of America and the shit they pull.  I KNOWWWWWWWW they’re busy but christ almighty, deadlines people, DEADLINES!  But the honest truth is that they could give two shits less if we meet deadlines or if the house sits empty.  They’re already going to lose their ass on it, sooo…

OH CHRIST.  Bank of America…(watch this if you have 8-10 minutes – it’s really good)… but, ha!  Kinda laughed at the “they couldn’t find their ass with both hands and a flashlight.”  *snort* …so then…

…and then I dropped on over at GeekByMarriage’s blog this afternoon and…

OF COURSE.  OF FUCKING COURSE IT IS!

I’m going to go lay in the fetal position now and cry with my bottle of vodka.  I’ll be back when the sun shines again.  And don’t you dare tell me to be optimistic and hope and blah blah blah because GeekByMarriage isn’t the only one with these horror stories. SEE? 

PS:  Bank of America Sux

Hold Me.

Bank of America – Clearly, you’re not liked by many and the houses that so many people including myself are approved for and accepted for by the seller, it’s YOU GUYS letting it go to hell… letting it sit empty for months/years…YOU are losing money…I know if I treated customers the way you treat customers, I sure as hell wouldn’t have a job.  HIRE MORE PEOPLE AND GET THESE HOUSES MOVING.  STAMP, APPROVE.  You know, some is better than none, right?  Or, wait… did you lose the 5th package of paperwork we’ve sent you?  Here, let me send you another.  Just what do you DO with all the papers if you’re constantly losing them.  Where is all of this important financial information and documents like SSN’s and bank account information… Where is all of that going if you continue to magically lose these files?  THAT is what scares me.

I WANT THIS HOUSE you guys and I’ll be damned if BofA will continue the bullshit they are pulling… it’s ridiculous.  Especially when someone is offering more than asking price and not asking for ANYTHING ELSE, NOTHING – The bank won’t have to do a single damn thing… but watch, you watch… they’ll come back and say, “We counteroffer you to pay an additional $8,000″… considering the house just dropped $10k a few weeks ago and has been on the market for over 6 months… If they could have gotten it for the $10k more they WOULD HAVE SOLD IT!  So DON’T ask for additional money… quit being fucking greedy and take what you can get. 

*UGH! Touchy subject but I have a feeling there may be a few more of these bitch fests in the future.  If you or someone you know has a Bank of America horror story or a good story regarding short sales please feel free to leave it in the comments. 

**And if anyone from Bank of America happens to stop here at this place (haaaa!  yeah right, but whatever) - My file was sent over today and I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED it approved by April 30th – neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, not want, neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.  You could have this house off the market lickity split.  Oh, and while you’re at it… get to hers too.

***T-Minus 42 days until April 30th… I’m so screwed.

****In other news, please go vote for my boy… :)  He is in round 3 and search Duke.

That’ll be me while I’m sitting here waiting at the mercy of the lender who is in charge of The House. I HATE being at the mercy of others waiting for them to drop the ball or speed up the process. I want to be right there behind them, swatting at them to get their asses moving cause I got things to move… provided all goes smoothly becausssssssssse………..

WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!!!!

THE! HOUSE!

THE HOUSE!

Except it’s a short sale property – it’s currently in between I think short sale and foreclosure and I don’t know all that technical crap of banking and monies and lenders and laws and processes and… you know. All I know is that I’ve got my approved financing, I’ve got my offer accepted, I’ve got money saved, I’ve done my part… all of it, signed, sealed, delivered… now they best get their ass moving.

As you may or may not know, short sales are a royal pain.

A) there are thousands of people going through either short sales or foreclosures while either selling their home or someone (like me) who is purchasing a short sale or foreclosure property. B) there are thousands and thousands of people needed to review properties and amounts and dollars and cents and offers and sales and financing crap that every little thing needs to be evaluated C) Appraisals need to be done, inspections completed, lenders approving the selling price, counter offers, etc D) and one nasty nasty nasty last bit of suckage about dealing with a short sale or foreclosure is that getting the banks approval could last more than 2 months! TWO MONTHS! We may not hear from the bank for TWO MONTHS! on whether or not they’ll take that selling price. Now, maybe the lender of the (our future) house is nice and close by and will delightfully sign our offer and agree to our requests because uh, HAI!

We are paying them more than asking price, all of closing costs and not asking them for ANYTHING NOTHING NOTTA! Nothing else! We were the 6th offer and finally offer. They were about to accept one of the 5 prior offers when all of a sudden we came along and offered the biggest and best and knocked the other offer to the curb. The listing agent COULD have submitted both of our offers to the bank and the bank could have countered us both and said see how much better both of your offers can do… but she isn’t, she’s only sending our offer, the best one of the 6… so I’m hoping that’s going to work in our favor so they don’t have to piss and moan with the ugly dirty work to lolly-gag along… don’t they know I have walls to paint and carpet to clean?

Once the bank approves the selling price to the seller and agent, then that baby is ours for sure… and then it’s just that lovely closing process that scares the living shit outta me and I don’t know why.

Oh, and since we’re doing this we’re getting the $8,000 tax credit and using that as a down payment and well, that’s why we NEED this bank approval by April 30, 2010 – which is 60 days away and it is likely that we’ll get bank approval by then… we don’t need to close by then, just get the bank to sign off on the price.  Then we have until June 30, 2010 to close.

So, in the mean time… you may or may not find me in either the psych ward in a straight jacket because of the severe anxiety and anticipation and wait and UGH! I DON’T DO WELL WITH THIS BEING AT THE MERCY OF OTHERS CRAP!

And, if I’m not in a straight jacket or psych ward, then I’m probably boots up under the bar with not a clue of what’s happening… and I likely don’t know my name, and you’re probably Suzie and Jim and that one person, that one person I never met.  DID YOU HEAR ME! I DON’T DOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS BEING AT THE MERCY OF OTHERS CRAP!

If anyone has any patience laying around, feel free to send it my way… This is going to be a test that I don’t want to fail… I need to pass this baby with flying colors… let’s just hope we can get to the end in one piece… Mkay?

Prayers, Joo Joos, Good Thoughts, Happy blah blah, whatever you say to wish upon the stars… feel free to throw a few in there for me every now and again because I DONT DOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS BEING AT THE MERCY OF OTHERS CRAP!

PS:  I kinda almost pretty much … BOUGHT A HOUSE TODAY!!!

In other news, I was a big nerd and recorded my boys tonight… they are my babies, that’s for sure.  My parents are on vacation and I’m watching their two boys Jack and Rex and then I have my babes here Dukey.  Anyways, no laughing at my jibberish :)

What I came here to tell you though is that as you know from my post a few days ago; I have been one of the lucky statistics to succumb to the H1N1 virus and I am here to tell you that it is NOT fun.  Two other friends of mine that I know of (and there could be more that just don’t know they have it yet) have also had the pleasures of dealing with it as well and they will tell you too that it is nothing close to pleasant; in fact it is the absolute extreme opposite.

Because I know there are an incredible amount of people out there that just think they have a sinus infection or a cold when really, they have the H1N1.  I KNOW there are more than a fair amount of people out there thinking that, because I was one of them and I’ll be completely honest when I say that.  In order to try to help a few others out there that think they may have it, don’t think they have it, or don’t think it is anything serious…. let me just tell you the following:

1. Monday evening, October 5th, I started getting what I thought was a cold/sinus infection.  I got home from work that Monday and a severe sore throat had developed within a few hours.  Then I had the headache, neckache, stuffy/runny nose (you know, one of each in each nostril), a few body aches, the jaw ache, the cheek bone pain, etc.  All classic symptoms of sinusitis and/or regular cold/sinus infection symptoms.  Heck, why would I think any different?

Due to those symptoms on Monday night, I took some meds and went to sleep only to not barely be able to sleep because my throat hurt so bad and my sinuses had went from semi blocked to full force can’t barely breath blocked.  I had my cousin’s wedding on that Friday the 9th and I was her personal attendant, and I decided that I was NOT going to be sick for this.  She was in my wedding last year and I owed that to her to be there for her and I was not going to ditch out on her 4 days before her wedding.  Due to that, I called my supervisor early Tuesday morning and said I would not be in that day since I for one was feeling horrible (I thought) and for two I wanted to try to nip it in the butt before Friday.  I went back to bed that Tuesday morning, and slept straight through until 2:15pm.  I got 14-15 hours of sleep from Monday into Tuesday; obviously my body needed it.  Tuesday night I felt better, kept taking some meds and left it at that.  Wednesday morning I got up, and I felt a little better; still clearly not 100% but I thought I was on the mend.  I went to work, continued meds during the day, had some hot flashes, and what felt like I had a fever.  I went over to my moms desk at work and checked my temp and I did have a low grade fever of 99.3.  I got home that day,  nursed it with lots of sleep and cough meds through Friday.  Friday AM, I had the worst sinus headache, EVER… took some Advil and such and was on my merry way to my cousin’s hotel room and got ready for her big day!  Saturday morning, I didn’t take any meds; thought I was on the mend until I woke up Sunday morning with my body feeling 800 pounds and a neck that felt like a bobble head and general body aches that made my head spin.  Still; didn’t think anything about H1N1… I kept thinking; oh but my cough isn’t that of people with H1N1 and ohh, I’d know it if I had it and yada yada yada.  Well…

2. Exactly one week from the start of my first symptoms; I went to work on Monday the 12th because well… I didn’t think I had H1N1.  I bought some cough drops, kleenex and Sudafed and slept on the couch that evening because I was coughing SO BAD in bed.  There was absolutely NO way I could even TRY to get some sleep while laying in bed.  Tuesday morning I felt a little worse, still… thought I was okay.  Last time I had a sinus infection; it lingered for 3-4 weeks and I didn’t think this was any different.  Tuesday at work, I felt like death… literal death.  I got in the car for the ride home and it took ever fiber of my being to walk from my car to my house.  I got in the door, looked at Duke and said, “Momma doesn’t feel good.” and Chris turned around from the livingroom and looked at me and said, “Momma doesn’t look good.” and I was weaker than I had been in the past week.  I felt horrible; progressively worse as the night went on.  My biceps, my hip bones… OH MY HIP BONES, my thigh muscles, my fingers, my wrists my… everything.  My facebook status says it fairly well:

This status was on the horrible Tuesday evening where I felt drastically worse.  My mom came over, I took my temp and it was 103.8 but I’m fairly certain the battery was dead because it died shortly there after on the thermometer and it wasn’t consistent.  Either way; it was horrible.

3. Tuesday evening, I called my supervisor, explained my symptoms and that I was not coming in to work.  I slept on the couch on Tuesday night; and I had a doctor appointment scheduled for Wednesday evening for my Narcolepsy and so I figured I could talk to my doctor then.  I felt so horrible, and hurt physically SO BAD, that I called my doctor earlier that morning and left a message (how they understood my voice, I don’t know) and wanted to see if there was any way for me to either A) get in earlier or B) if they didn’t want me there due to the H1N1 symptoms, if they could prescribe me something.  My doctor called me back and they said they didn’t want me in; he said I need to be off work for the next 24-48 hours until after my fever breaks, and that yes, I had H1N1 and I was to stay home and not go out in general public.  So, fast forward until Thursday… no more fever; and still feeling like crap, but DEFINITELY better than Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  Friday rolled around and I was beginning to feel much better… still clearly not 100%; still coughing up a lung, but definitely better…  however, notice the status update on Thursday evening/early Friday AM in the middle of the night at 2:43am.  But then when I did get some sleep and woke up later on, I felt a little better…

4. Friday evening, things got significantly better and on Saturday I was definitely feeling better… still not 100% but better than Thursday and Friday.  Progress people; progress.  The coughing was horrendous though.

5. Sunday I went over to help my dad for an hour or so outside.  I didn’t think much of it; I was still coughing but I dressed warmly, covered my mouth and soon after we were done with what he needed; I went back home.  I wasn’t going to go over to help him, but I thought I was on the mend and Chris was mowing lawn, and dad had to cover some big boats that he was storing and so I really wanted to help him because since we don’t live there anymore, he doesn’t have the help anymore.  Well, my mom is there, but my dad and I always used to do that stuff together and I would have felt bad had I said no.  So, I went anyways.

6. Monday the 19th (yesterday) rolled around and I went to work for the first time in 5-6 days.  I felt better; still coughing, no body aches, still stuffy nose, and needed cough meds but that’s about it.  By mid afternoon I was feeling icky; I got the body aches and nasty feeling… but it passed, and I didn’t think much of it.  I got home from work; pooped… clearly still not back to myself.  I ate supper and by about 6:30pm the coughing started.

And it didn’t quit.

And didn’t quit.

And I’d puke.

And I couldn’t catch my breath.

And I’d gag.

And it didn’t quit.

And didn’t quit.

And I’d spit up crap.

And it didn’t quit.

And come 10:30, Chris was nervous enough and called the hospital.

They paged the oncall doc who then called us, and said since I had H1N1 and was getting better, but not just got worse, that I needed to go to the Emergency Room.

Two neb treatments later, chest x-ray and a prednisone pill …I was sent home with some Tylenol 3 w/ Codeine and prescriptions for prednisone and albuterol and told absolutely no work for next 48 hours.

Thank GOD, for the Tylenol 3… It’s actually allowing me to get some sleep without hacking up a lung.

Other than that, I am doing better… and PLEASE, all I can say to you is this…

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.

If you aren’t feeling well, and you get extreme body aches and a fever along with coughing?  Chances are you have H1N1.

Review these symptoms and watch for them.  I truthfully believe that everyone is going to get this nasty thing… it’s just a matter of when and how bad.

Take care of yourself.  I’ve learned some valuable lessons with this whole ordeal the past few weeks; and really… well, it was an eye opener.

And if you have Asthma or any related respiratory disorders?  PLEASE take extra precautions.  I can honestly tell you that if I had Asthma or a respiratory problem on top of H1N1… well; I’d likely rather be dead than deal with the horrendous breathing problems.  I’m a healthy person otherwise and this has taken a severe toll.

And if you have the flu… STAY HOME.  PLEASE STAY HOME.  Even if you’re unsure if you have the flu, STAY HOME ANYWAYS until either a) your fever goes down, b) you feel better within a day, or c) you clearly have just a cold.

Ugh, I could go on and on.  This is nothing to mess with, I don’t know how much more to stress it other than right now, laying on my couch, with a chest that feels like it’s going to burst every time I cough, and a sterum and chest cavity that ache, and a constant feeling of having to cough, and a raspy voice, and not being able to take a deep breath without going into an extreme coughing fit that brings you from a laying down position to a sitting up position all by itself because you cough so hard, and the general rattle in your chest?

…is not fun and I don’t want you to have to go through it, either.

Trust me.

Wash your hands. A lot.