I usually do well with being patient with things and I’m very much that annoying person always saying to someone who’s worked up, “Just relax, you have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.” “Whatever happens is meant to be.” “Have faith that things will turn around.”  …yeah, yeah…right now?  Nope.  I am Debbie Fucking Downer and I’ll be damned if you’re going to tell me to relax or hope for the best or have faith or whatever happens is mean to be… I get it, I REALLY DO.  I get that you have to be positive and hopeful… but right now?  I cannnnnnnn’t.  *stomps feet and crosses arms with frown face* 

So, if you’ve read any of my posts from late last week and Monday of this week (ohmahgah! twice in one week!) you’ll notice that changes are afoot.  We won’t go into the fact that I’m currently homeless and have half of my shit in a storage shed that I’m paying $60 a month for – that’s expensive, ugh – really it’s not, but it’s $60 that I don’t want to continue spending per month when I could be spending it on a mortgage or a place of my ownnnnnnn.

So after my! excited! post! about! my! potentially! new! to me! house! on Monday… I received a comment from GeekByMarriage…

…and so I kind of gasped because I have had this fear all along – especially considering all the reviews out there and the nightmares of short sales… but you know I’ve tried to push it aside and do the whole, “ohhh it can’t be thaaaaaaaaaat bad” thing… but for that reason all itself I’ve remained cautiously optimistic, yes, extremely excited but I’m trying my damndest to not get my hopes up.  So I replied…

…you know because, HAI!…

…TAX CREDIT… we’re using it as our down payment sooooo… you know, kiiiiiiiiinda need the banks approval on that sale price before the 30th of April.  I’ve heard horror stories of Bank of America and the shit they pull.  I KNOWWWWWWWW they’re busy but christ almighty, deadlines people, DEADLINES!  But the honest truth is that they could give two shits less if we meet deadlines or if the house sits empty.  They’re already going to lose their ass on it, sooo…

OH CHRIST.  Bank of America…(watch this if you have 8-10 minutes – it’s really good)… but, ha!  Kinda laughed at the “they couldn’t find their ass with both hands and a flashlight.”  *snort* …so then…

…and then I dropped on over at GeekByMarriage’s blog this afternoon and…

OF COURSE.  OF FUCKING COURSE IT IS!

I’m going to go lay in the fetal position now and cry with my bottle of vodka.  I’ll be back when the sun shines again.  And don’t you dare tell me to be optimistic and hope and blah blah blah because GeekByMarriage isn’t the only one with these horror stories. SEE? 

PS:  Bank of America Sux

Hold Me.

Bank of America – Clearly, you’re not liked by many and the houses that so many people including myself are approved for and accepted for by the seller, it’s YOU GUYS letting it go to hell… letting it sit empty for months/years…YOU are losing money…I know if I treated customers the way you treat customers, I sure as hell wouldn’t have a job.  HIRE MORE PEOPLE AND GET THESE HOUSES MOVING.  STAMP, APPROVE.  You know, some is better than none, right?  Or, wait… did you lose the 5th package of paperwork we’ve sent you?  Here, let me send you another.  Just what do you DO with all the papers if you’re constantly losing them.  Where is all of this important financial information and documents like SSN’s and bank account information… Where is all of that going if you continue to magically lose these files?  THAT is what scares me.

I WANT THIS HOUSE you guys and I’ll be damned if BofA will continue the bullshit they are pulling… it’s ridiculous.  Especially when someone is offering more than asking price and not asking for ANYTHING ELSE, NOTHING – The bank won’t have to do a single damn thing… but watch, you watch… they’ll come back and say, “We counteroffer you to pay an additional $8,000″… considering the house just dropped $10k a few weeks ago and has been on the market for over 6 months… If they could have gotten it for the $10k more they WOULD HAVE SOLD IT!  So DON’T ask for additional money… quit being fucking greedy and take what you can get. 

*UGH! Touchy subject but I have a feeling there may be a few more of these bitch fests in the future.  If you or someone you know has a Bank of America horror story or a good story regarding short sales please feel free to leave it in the comments. 

**And if anyone from Bank of America happens to stop here at this place (haaaa!  yeah right, but whatever) - My file was sent over today and I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED it approved by April 30th – neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, not want, neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed.  You could have this house off the market lickity split.  Oh, and while you’re at it… get to hers too.

***T-Minus 42 days until April 30th… I’m so screwed.

****In other news, please go vote for my boy… :)  He is in round 3 and search Duke.

That’ll be me while I’m sitting here waiting at the mercy of the lender who is in charge of The House. I HATE being at the mercy of others waiting for them to drop the ball or speed up the process. I want to be right there behind them, swatting at them to get their asses moving cause I got things to move… provided all goes smoothly becausssssssssse………..

WE GOT THE HOUSE!!!!!!

THE! HOUSE!

THE HOUSE!

Except it’s a short sale property – it’s currently in between I think short sale and foreclosure and I don’t know all that technical crap of banking and monies and lenders and laws and processes and… you know. All I know is that I’ve got my approved financing, I’ve got my offer accepted, I’ve got money saved, I’ve done my part… all of it, signed, sealed, delivered… now they best get their ass moving.

As you may or may not know, short sales are a royal pain.

A) there are thousands of people going through either short sales or foreclosures while either selling their home or someone (like me) who is purchasing a short sale or foreclosure property. B) there are thousands and thousands of people needed to review properties and amounts and dollars and cents and offers and sales and financing crap that every little thing needs to be evaluated C) Appraisals need to be done, inspections completed, lenders approving the selling price, counter offers, etc D) and one nasty nasty nasty last bit of suckage about dealing with a short sale or foreclosure is that getting the banks approval could last more than 2 months! TWO MONTHS! We may not hear from the bank for TWO MONTHS! on whether or not they’ll take that selling price. Now, maybe the lender of the (our future) house is nice and close by and will delightfully sign our offer and agree to our requests because uh, HAI!

We are paying them more than asking price, all of closing costs and not asking them for ANYTHING NOTHING NOTTA! Nothing else! We were the 6th offer and finally offer. They were about to accept one of the 5 prior offers when all of a sudden we came along and offered the biggest and best and knocked the other offer to the curb. The listing agent COULD have submitted both of our offers to the bank and the bank could have countered us both and said see how much better both of your offers can do… but she isn’t, she’s only sending our offer, the best one of the 6… so I’m hoping that’s going to work in our favor so they don’t have to piss and moan with the ugly dirty work to lolly-gag along… don’t they know I have walls to paint and carpet to clean?

Once the bank approves the selling price to the seller and agent, then that baby is ours for sure… and then it’s just that lovely closing process that scares the living shit outta me and I don’t know why.

Oh, and since we’re doing this we’re getting the $8,000 tax credit and using that as a down payment and well, that’s why we NEED this bank approval by April 30, 2010 – which is 60 days away and it is likely that we’ll get bank approval by then… we don’t need to close by then, just get the bank to sign off on the price.  Then we have until June 30, 2010 to close.

So, in the mean time… you may or may not find me in either the psych ward in a straight jacket because of the severe anxiety and anticipation and wait and UGH! I DON’T DO WELL WITH THIS BEING AT THE MERCY OF OTHERS CRAP!

And, if I’m not in a straight jacket or psych ward, then I’m probably boots up under the bar with not a clue of what’s happening… and I likely don’t know my name, and you’re probably Suzie and Jim and that one person, that one person I never met.  DID YOU HEAR ME! I DON’T DOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS BEING AT THE MERCY OF OTHERS CRAP!

If anyone has any patience laying around, feel free to send it my way… This is going to be a test that I don’t want to fail… I need to pass this baby with flying colors… let’s just hope we can get to the end in one piece… Mkay?

Prayers, Joo Joos, Good Thoughts, Happy blah blah, whatever you say to wish upon the stars… feel free to throw a few in there for me every now and again because I DONT DOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS BEING AT THE MERCY OF OTHERS CRAP!

PS:  I kinda almost pretty much … BOUGHT A HOUSE TODAY!!!

In other news, I was a big nerd and recorded my boys tonight… they are my babies, that’s for sure.  My parents are on vacation and I’m watching their two boys Jack and Rex and then I have my babes here Dukey.  Anyways, no laughing at my jibberish :)

Now that I’ve completely lost all three of my readers, I’ve decided a near month of no posting was probably pretty much enough of enough.  Although I truly have no idea where to even start, I will say this…

• Moved out of our house in Wisconsin that we were renting
• Husband moved 3 hours up north to his parents cabin so we could live rent free for a while since he was unemployed
• I stayed living in Wisconsin with my parents since where Chris was living was 2+ hours from my work
• He got a job and moved back down by his parents where he is currently living at his grandparents town home since they’re in Arizona for the winter
• I’m still in Wisconsin because we are looking for a place to live
• We found a place to live however after realizing we could own a place for the price we were renting for we…
• …decided to go get pre-approved for a mortgage
• He’s still living up north, I’m still living in Wisconsin and we have an offer in on a place right now (2nd offer, so back up) and we are going to look at a house tonight that would be ohmahgah perfect

That’s my life in a nutshell and there really isn’t any other way to put it.  He and I have been living apart now for the past few oh, since mid December.  We didn’t intend on him getting a job as quick as he did, but lo and behold, he did.  I guess, that’s a blessing considering that beautimus economy and all, you know.  He has a degree in Machine Tool Technology which is fancy for a machinist… and well, considering he was making over $30/hour at his old job which was part of a union prior to getting laid off in May 2009, we knew there was pretty much no chance of him finding a job right now making that amount of money; so we pretty much threw in the towel, which was part of the reasoning for leaving our rental home in Wisconsin that I had completely repainted and fixed because it wasn’t touched in the past 17 years or updated in any way shape or form and if I do say so myself the before and after pictures are pretty damn interesting! Anyways, so we had lived there for a year and a half and we knew the family and the man, we’ll call him CB who owned the house was a grandpa and his wife had died 16+ years prior and he just never ever did anything to the place because he wanted to leave it the way his wife left it before she died.  When I was in Kindergarten, I’d often go with my dad after school and spend time with him either out int he fields in the tractor or we’d stop down at the local bar and grill for a pop or whatever you want to call it, and I’d always have my little blue bag that came with a little pad of paper, crayons, scissors, ruler, etc and we’d always sit there and he’d draw with me.  So, it was a blessing to be able to rent his house from his kids after he died and they absolutely loved what I did with the decorations, so bonus bonus.  I was sad to leave that place because it felt so much like home and my parents were all but 1.5 miles away.

Moving on back to my initial point…

So husband applied for a job on a Wednesday… it was through a job agency and a contract to hire type situation so I wasn’t extremely hopeful just because uhh, what’s the likelyhood of this being a permanent place of employment?  So he applied for the job on a Wednesday, got called for an interview on Thursday, had interview at agency on the next Monday, got called on Tuesday for his second interview with the actual company he’d be working for, had that interview on Wednesday AM and 45 minutes after leaving that last interview with the company, he was offered the job.  And, they offered him what he asked to be paid and they work 50 hour weeks there, so 10 of which are overtime hours (time and a half) so in reality he is currently making the same amount of money that he was prior to being laid off!  Awesome!  Anyways, after further investigation – this company uses a job agency because due to the craptastic job economy they get alot of people applying who make their resume look good and answers all the questions properly like they know everything and then once they get hired, oh the company finds out they really didn’t know jack shit about any of the machines or what they said they knew… but then they’re kinda stuck with them unless they find a good reason to can the person.  So, this way they go through an agency and the agency weeds out the good/bad and then they do it as contract to hire so within that 6 month contract time, the actual employer that you’re working for has an opportunity to let you go at anytime within your contract time frame.  We’re not concerned about Chris not getting hired on with the actual company after his 6 months are up… they’ve already told him time and time again that they’re extremely impressed with his skills and desire to work like he does.  They told him they had never called all three references that a potential employee had listed and heard that many good things about the person; and two of the three said they want him back but can’t due to their own staffing limits with the economy and the other one (the job he was just laid off from last year) said all sorts of good things and then ended it with, “but I want him back!” …so it was so nice for Chris to hear that, and realize that he is needed and wanted out there.  He was getting really depressed and home bound since he wasn’t doing his profession and his job that he loves.  It keeps his mind on something and makes his self worth stay where it should which in response turns his mood around like you wouldn’t believe!

So, he’s working at a place he loves right now and we got pre-approved for a mortgage… bonus!  Speaking of which… I got way too involved on this tangent about his job and crap that I’ve gotta get ready to leave in a few minutes because we’re going to look at this…

…to be continued……click the picture of the house to see more……be back later to finish this post since I didn’t get to it now.