Yanno, about that…

I had a little break through last night.  Who am I kidding, me? breakthrough?  Pffft.  This isn’t really a “breakthrough”, it’s more of a “bitchthrough”.

I’ve done a lot of thinking and as some of you may or may not know, Chris (my husband for you new readers) was laid off on 5/13/09 and because of that, he has been home every day. 

Let’s recap…

Prior to the *)*@&$U#!@ lay off, he worked 3pm – 11pm, and would get home around 11:40… now, I love him dearly… BUT!

Oh, and I work 7-3:45.  See where I’m going with this? 

Once I’d get done with work, I’d drive directly do the gym (on my way home from work) and workout workout workout and dilly dally around, talk to others, fill out my food journal and take my time once I got done with my cardio.  I just had absolutely no rush to get home since Chris almost usually brought Duke to my parents house (they only live a mile away) to play with Rex until my parents got home, and then I’d go pick him up there.  I’d usually get home anywhere around 6:30-7, depending on my workout and if I had to coach/weigh in, etc.  Once I got home I’d do whatever I wanted, a load of laundry maybe a few odds and ends, watch whatever TV shows I wanted, and not have to worry about anyone asking me what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and all sorts of other stuff, it was really nice.  I could search the net and twitter and read/update blogs and there wasn’t a care in the world!

Now?

Ugh.. I feel really bad for saying this, but sometimes I would kill for my alone time at night.  “Hold up! I know, I know… it’s married life, I need to get used to it…”

But dammit, it’s hard to adjust right now.  I like my time at night that I can do what I want when I want, and not have anyone wondering where I am.  It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with him because I do… I just am having a harder time than I thought.  I can’t help it I’m addicted to the internet/twitter/blogs.

He brought it up last week that he is bored and he can’t wait until I get home because it’s another person to talk to.  When I get home, he wants to talk talk talk talk talk and he gets frustrated if I go on the computer or text/twitter because he said he just wants to watch TV with me.  I completely get that, I really do and I like to spend that time with him… like Monday night, I vowed to myself that I would just come straight home – I stopped and got stuff to make for supper, I got home and him and I made supper (me mostly!) and then we ate and watched JK8 and went to bed early and watched TV in bed… and it was a very nice and relaxing evening, and it felt great to be able to not feel like I absolutely have to get online when I get home from work.  *I do miss you guys though…*

I guess like I said, I’m just adjusting… I feel really bad that he is so bored, and I love that he looks forward to me getting home from work so he can talk to someone.  I just like to come home sometimes and zone out and just do nothing… and I know it’s not his fault that he’s laid off, and I do enjoy spending time with him when I do – don’t get me wrong.  I can’t stress that enough.

I did tell him though when he first got laid off that he shouldn’t get nervous about where I am unless it’s 7pm and I’m not home yet because I want to take my time working out because if I feel like I have to rush home, I get sidetracked and don’t have a good workout.  I told myself I HAVE to be home by 7pm for him, because I know if I were in his shoes, I would be bored out of my mind and 7pm is a long ways away when you get up in the morning and do stuff around the house/garage all day.  Which, by the way… he does clean and do lots of laundry and cook supper on occasion and do some of the stuff that I absolutely HATE, so I cannot thank him enough for that.  Same goes for that though too, I feel bad that he is the one doing all of that.  I know since he’s not working, he has the time and the energy, but still… it makes me feel real guilty.  He doesn’t complain though and I don’t make him do it; I keep telling him… “You don’t have to do that today, you really don’t… don’t worry about it…” and I know if he doesn’t want to do something, he won’t… but my guilt is still there.

Annnywho…

Have any of you dealt with this adjustment?  I think he just NEEDS to get away or out of the house.  It doesn’t help the fact that he lives 2.5 hours away from his familiy and all he knows… he doesn’t really have any friends around home other than the guy (Jonny) he used to carpool with who happens to be my dad’s 1st cousin and only about 8-10 years older than Chris and they are really good friends, but Jonny has 2 year old twins and his wife works during the day and he works the 2nd shift that Chris used to work, so during the day he takes care of their kids.   Chris used to get all the friends/people/human interaction while he was at work and now that he doesn’t have that anymore, he goes stir crazy. 

Are you wondering why he doesn’t have any friends? 

Well, you see… so, I’ll make a long story short.  Boy meets Girl randomly in a Yahoo Chatroom in August 2004.  Girl drives 2.5 hours north to Boy’s house after work on Friday and stays over night (yes, the same very night I met him face to face, I also met his brother who at the time was in 10th grade, mom, dad, grandma and grandpa – don’t worry, he lived with his parents and I didn’t go to a COMPLETE strangers house…although, kinda. ha!).  Boy and Girl start dating in December 2004.  Boy and Girl do long distance thing for a year, with Girl usually always driving up north to Boys house on Friday afternoons because she liked getting away from home as it seemed like a little mini vacation.  Boy decides he wants to go further in our relationship so he puts in his 2 week notice at current employer and accepts a position that is directly inbetween his parents and my parents.  Boy moves to his aunts house about 15 minutes from his new job, and Girl stays at aunts house with Boy far more than she should have from September 2005 to November 1, 2005.  Boy and Girl find a townhome to rent about 20 minutes from Boys new job and 30 minutes from Girls job.  Boy and Girl live in said town home until May 2007, because Boy got a job even closer to Girl’s family and it just happens to be where Girl’s dad works (Boy and Girl’s dad are both machinists, and do the same thing – this is a different story for a different day) and Boy got that new job, and in May 2007 we moved to Wisconsin and in with Girl’s parents from June 2007 until September 2008. Boy and Girl rented a farm house a mile away (before pictures, after pictures, bathroom before/after pictures - yes we are renting, but it’s from a family friend and they didn’t care what we did to the house/they appreciated th at we fixed it up since they’re dad had lived there for the past 16 years alone until he died there in May 2008 – yes, in my kitchen!) from Girl’s parents house (it was perfect opportunity for us!!!!) and then got married and now this house is where they currently live and plan to stay for a few years… they didn’t go out and buy a house for fear of lay offs and thankyoubabyjesus that they didn’t, because than well… $700/month rent is WAY better than $1400/month mortgage payment!

Needless to say, he moved all the way from his family and friends, and when I moved with him to the place in November 2005, I moved an hour or so away from most of my friends and we just never really kept in touch with any of ours – he didn’t really have a whole lot other than his work friends to begin with.  Now that he is living in Wisconsin – he knows a lot of people but doesn’t have any really close friends other than Jonny, and he is busy most of the time with his little tykes.  I guess over time he’ll meet more people… and it doesn’t help that he is really shy until he gets to know someone more.

Anyways, have any of you gone through this little adjustment?  Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the thought of going home at night because I know he hasn’t had much human interaction all day… other times I can’t wait to just go home and relax with him and push the interwebs aside for the night.

Maybe just maybe I’ll start getting better at this, I think I’m seeing the positives in all of this too – relationship wise, because it is really nice to beable to spend some quality time with each other minus phones/internet/technology.

Am I talking in circles here?  Meh!  Sorry!  For example, right now I am excited to go home and watch TV with him, sans technology and just be with him and go out in the garage with him while he buff’s his truck with the 3 step wax program – which by the way, he is a fanatic about now after he bought this big buffer thingy, he put on the cleaner wax, then polish stuff, then the actual wax which is what he’s doing right now and holy crap his truck is SO clean and incredible looking!  He took off all his decals and last night after I was done Skype’ing (add me!  username: snarkykisses) with InDueTime, at 10pm he came in and got me and wanted to show me how his truck was turning out and he was so proud of how it looked and all the new little accessories he has replaced and what he wants to do with it, and I just love that because I know it is something he is proud of and enjoys doing and I know how I would feel if I wanted to show him something that I was so proud of and he didn’t care at all about it and wasn’t interested.  I though, am interested in that kind of stuff so it’s not a problem for me to be interested anyways.  It’s the little things…

This too shall pass, just had to get it out apparently.  Everything will be fine, it’s life and it’s just another thing I will get accustomed to.  We did it before (when he got his new job in 2005) and he worked days and we enjoyed our evenings all the time!   

Adjustments, Adjustments… that’s what life is all about!  If we didn’t have them, life would get boring.  Right? Right!

Tootles!
xoxxoxox